Ditch the Negative Self-Talk and Start Being More Positive Today!

If you’re constantly beating yourself up over every little thing, chances are you’re really good at negative self-talk.

It’s that dark voice inside your head that tells you all the things you’re doing wrong and never misses a moment to put you down.

It’s something that I admit to struggling with on the daily as well.

The good news is that you don’t have to be doomed to a life haunted by your negative self.

Instead, you can ditch the negativity by replacing those thoughts with positive ones so you can be happier every single day!

Whether you notice it or not, your negative self-talk plays a huge role in how you see yourself and how you experience the world around you.

It holds you back from being truly happy with yourself and with life in general.

This dark voice is something that has been a part of us for so long, that sometimes we don’t notice it happening.

It comes so naturally to us to put ourselves down that we don’t even have to think about doing it. 

Your negative self will want to tell you that you can’t change and you’re not good enough; you don’t have the skills and you’ve been this way for so long that there is no hope for you.

But this is absolutely NOT true! 

When we are in a negative mindset, our minds are often flustered and struggle to stay in touch with reality.

When we are in a positive mindset, our minds are calm and often find it easier to live in the moment and make better judgments.

If we work hard enough, we can pave new positive thought processes to replace the negative ones and rewire our brains for positivity.

Thinking more positively, especially when it comes to how we see ourselves, will ultimately lead to an overall happier life by finally eliminating that constant negative feedback!

So let’s get started with some simple steps to help us rid ourselves of negative self-talk and start thinking more positively!

How to Develop Positive Self-Talk

1. Observe Negative Self-Talk

Step one is to observe our negative self-talk.

Begin by writing down any recurring negative thoughts that you tell yourself.

Even if you’re feeling happy or positive right now, chances are you can fairly easily come up with your brain’s go-to insults and hurtful words. 

Noticing our negative thought patterns can be difficult to do, so remember to be patient with yourself.

Give yourself some time to complete this exercise and really allow yourself to focus on the way you treat yourself and what you tell yourself.

I decided to include just a few items from my own list to give you an idea of what your list may look like.

Negative Thoughts From Self-Talk

1. You’re so dumb, you’re always messing up

2. You can’t get anything right, why do you even try?

3. Your best is never good enough

4. You’re not good at anything

5. Everyone else is better than you

Take a look at your list. It may be similar to mine, or much different.

No matter what you wrote down, remember that everyone thinks this way sometimes and most people struggle at some time or another with feeling subpar.

For better or for worse, that is actually just part of being human!

The important thing to keep in mind is that whatever you wrote on your list is not rational and therefore it is not true. Instead, it is your negative self lying to you.

What we want to do now is get back in touch with reality!

2. Find a Positive Replacement

The next step is to write a positive thought alternative next to every negative thought you wrote down. It sounds simple, but you may be surprised at how difficult it really can be!

Sometimes when we feel we don’t deserve kindness, it can feel selfish or uncomfortable to start treating ourselves with kindness.

What we don’t realize is that it is NEVER selfish to be kind to ourselves!

It will likely feel uncomfortable, but that is just because your brain is not used to thinking that way. Be patient with yourself and remind yourself that you deserve kindness.

If you are struggling with this exercise, try responding to each negative thought as if you are responding to a friend.

Make sure that you are using logic and reason when coming up with a positive thought to replace a negative one.

Here are the positive thought alternatives I added:

Look at the differences between the negative thought column and positive thought column on your paper.

Imagine if you were able to replace all of your negative thoughts with positive ones. You would feel so much better about yourself all around!

And guess what? That dream can be a reality for you!

3. Implement

Now that you’ve taken some time to think about your negative thought processes and some positive replacements, it’s time to put your positivity into action! 

For step three, you are going to implement positive self-talk into your everyday life.

Any time you have a negative thought about yourself or insult yourself, try taking a step back and think of something positive to say instead.

Use some of your positive responses from step two and replace the negative thought with a positive one. 

If you find that you’re struggling to do this in the moment, refer back to your list or make a new list of positive things you can tell yourself. Keep the note on your phone for easy access.

4. Practice! Practice! Practice!

The final step in ridding yourself of negative self talk is to practice!

Review the lists you created in the previous exercises on a regular basis. Take time to reflect regularly on how you are treating yourself and what that inner dialogue looks like. 

If you’re finding that it is too difficult to replace negative thoughts while in the moment and you aren’t remembering to look at your list or be kind to yourself when you’re handling a negative bout, it is okay!

Often times it’s easier to practice new skills when we are not in crisis mode.

One way you can do this is by setting some Positive Affirmation timers on your phone to go off throughout the day.

Try setting 3-5 timers for one day. When the timer goes off, stop what you are doing and practice changing your negative thoughts into positive ones. 

You can also put a positive message directly into the timer so that when the alarm goes off and you look at your phone, you instantly see a positive message from yourself to yourself.

If your days are really busy, this can be a great way to still practice self-kindness without taking up much time.

* * *

By following these 4 important steps, you can replace your negative self-talk with positive self-talk and start being kind to yourself on a regular basis!

Remember that this entire process is something that requires taking baby steps!

This is not something that will change overnight. It is going to take time and it is going to be difficult, but it’s also going to be so worth it! 

It all starts with observing our negative thoughts. When we identify our negative thoughts, we can replace them with positive thoughts which can be implemented throughout the day.

Taking time to practice and reflect on your inner dialogue regularly will help to solidify these changes and help the positive thoughts to stick.

Just imagine what it would be like to be kind to yourself and start thinking about yourself more positively!

Changing your mindset into a more positive one will ultimately help you live a happier life!

Remember to stay strong and keep moving forward! Ditch that negative self-talk and start being more positive today!

Check out this article on how to start loving yourself for who you are.